Dear Alex,

This is Future Alex.  That's right, I'm you but from the future one year from now.  I have time traveled back to warn you of the terrible, dystopian world that I came from.  But you are the key to prevent this bleak future from happening.  How?  It's too complex for your mind to understands so don't ask me any details.

There are a few key things you must accomplish in 2016 before your next birthday.  If you are able to keep to task and complete them, the world in your future will not fall to ruins like mine.  What?  This sounds cliche?

Okay, that's it.  No more nice guy.  Just shut the fuck up and complete these fucking birthday resolutions.  Fuck, I forgot how annoying I was at 26.

1. In my grim future, all books are banned and are burned if found.  What?  This is a totally original idea.  Anyways, if you read some damn more books, you can prevent this from happening.   Remember when you use to read regularly and didn't melt your brains on those stupid Japanese cartoons all the time?  For Christ sake, just read 6 books next year.  That's 1 book every 2 months you lazy ass.
2. In my horrifying future, children are taken away from their parents to participate in an annual televised death match.   No, this does not sound familiar. Anyways, you can prevent this future from unfolding if you just fucking call home every week.  No, it doesn't count if mom calls you. And I don't care if she nags for 30 minutes, just shut up and listen. Okay, fine, you can roll your eyes while she talks but roll your eyes silently.  While you're at it, call dad and have the usual 10 second conversations with him too.
3. In my nightmarish future, only one person is chosen to hold all memories and everyone else is the same and have no emotions.  No, I did not steal this from somewhere.  Anyways, what you need to do is write down and record more of your thoughts and feelings.  No, writing a stupid post on your stupid blog every once in a while does not count.  You will journal every week Sunday 9PM.  That's the time I have given you to sit down and record & process your overly active mind.  Stick to it.

Do these sound familiar?  That's because most of them are your failed birthday resolutions from last year, idiot.  This time, I'm holding you more accountable by having it in writing. Don't make me time travel back here again. 

Are you currently doing anything right?  Hmm, I guess you have been doing some traveling.  Don't be so smug, that's the only thing you are currently doing correctly with your life.   

Finally, do you have any questions about the future before I leave?  Yes, you do get wiser, funnier, and more attractive with age.  That's true in any future.

Now get to it!

Future 27 Year Old Alex

So when you are new and out meeting lots of people, you'll run into situations where people might not just want to be your friend.  They might start to like you.

I'm running into this all the time.  Sometimes when you are too attractive, it's really hard just to make friends.

That's why I've picked up a few techniques to help navigate these awkward situations.  I'm happy to share them with you!

Alex's Guide to Friend Zoning

• When texting, never text back immediately.  This shows them you have better things to do.
• If you somehow end up hanging 1-1, start inviting other people ASAP.
• Talk about all the real-life people you think are hot in front of them.
• In conversation, describe your perfect type and then say, "Yeah, kinda like the opposite of you."
• If they try to make a move on you at the bar/club, just scream, "I'm so drunk right now. Just sooooo drunk."  Then spill your drink on them and leave.
• When they text you something flirty, reply with "I just took a big dump, heh." Then some poop emoticons for emphasis.
• Slap their face really hard.  Whenever.
• When they ask you, "How's your weekend?" Respond with "I'm still emotionally unavailable due to my last relationship 8 years ago."

 Good luck!

Quick video I put together.  Just a lot food and wandering around.

So this post is about my quick weekend trip to Bangkok a few weeks back.  If you were thinking of a quickie...OMG YOU'RE FREAKING GROSS.  Get your head out of the gutter!

Anywayzzz.  Frenetic, bustling, beautiful, artistic, metropolitan, sinful.  Those are a few words that come to mind when I think about my impressions of the city.  (I'm a terrible writer, so excuse my limited vocabulary and poor descriptions of what is a pretty cool city.)   Now given that it was a quick weekend trip, I really didn't get to see a lot of the city, especially more of the cultural side (all the temples and palaces were kind of out of the way).  It was more of a fun drinking, eating, and partying type of trip.  And even so, someone was soooo lame that he went to bed after dinner on a Saturday night.  (Hint: it was me.)

Here are some pictures/videos/highlights/impressions:

• Yes, what you've heard about the sex industry in Thailand is pretty true.  Sex workers will line the streets just for you to pick them up.  Walking down the street seeing all the girls in matching costumes sitting just rows was kinda depressing actually.  Same goes for the guys.  (PS They also weren't cute.)
• In Thailand, Thai tea is just called milk tea.  Mind. blown.

This little stand was a whole family affair.

• The Thailand malls could give the Singaporean malls a run for their money.  Almost.
• Thai street food is bomb dot com.  But I totally didn't know what I was doing so I just went to the stalls that had the most people.

Some Thai noodle soup.  Tom...Yum! Get it?! (It actually wasn't tom yum soup.)

Yes.  That is Thai street fried chicken.

• Coconut water in Thailand is the sweetest in all the lands.
• The giant flea market is a total maze but I didn't really buy anything.  Just more eating.

The very touristy flea market.

Until next time Bangkok! 

Song of the Week: I know everyone is literally crying to Adele's new song (which has ALL THE FEELS).  But I'm gonna highlight my high school alumna who might have not gotten as much press but had an equally heartbreaking song.

"Do you wanna uh...grab a coffee or something?"

Actively trying to make new friends is not something people usually have to do until they are thrown into a new environment or into new life circumstances.  I can't remember trying to actively make friends since my early-mid college years.  Now here I am, in a new environment trying to to find my Joey, Rachel, and Gunther.

I wouldn't say it has been particularly too hard to meet new people here.  Maybe it's because Singapore is made up of so many expats that people understand what it's like to be alone in a new city.  Or maybe it's because I’m so cool, fun, and funny that everyone just naturally wants to hang out with me.  Yeah, you're right, it's just me.

Getting durian sago dessert with the Lil Sib!

What I find particularly hilarious is how sometimes trying to make friends is almost like dating.  You inevitably end up going out to grab drinks with these people...or dinners...or coffee "hangouts." Like dating, you ask the same questions just to different faces:

"What do you do?"
"Where are you from?"
"What’s your favorite sexual position? I’m guessing reverse-cowgirl."

And of course, you have the whole internal process of assessing if there is a personality match - is this person really friend material?  Do they laugh at your terrible and often unnecessarily dirty jokes (“Dildos?  More like Dildo-n’ts!” [I literally just thought that up as I was typing...I’m too funny!])  Are they themselves funny?  It’s a constant flow of making snap judgements - my favorite hobby.

And like dating again, you are also secretly insecure and constantly try your best to show off how cool you are. How funny you are.  How smart you are.  How much of a DAB* you are (“No, I’m not drunk. Yes, I will take that 8th shot with you! Woooo, I’m such a Bro!!!”)

Or maybe, I’m just overthinking the whole thing.  If a person is cool, just hang out with them.  There, I just solved making friends/dating.  You’re welcome.

*Down Ass Bitch.

Song of the Week: This song is just great.  The video is awesome (just keep watching).  And the lyrics have all the Feels!

Bonus Song (because it fits this week's blog post theme)

Squint and you can see the outline of Marina Bay Sands

Welcome to the Mist!...I mean the Haze!

So there is a unique phenomenon here in Singapore called the Haze (capitalized for dramatic effect).  As you can see from the pictures, Singapore is basically enveloped by a pretty shitty haze around this time of the year for a few weeks.  The Haze is cause by fires from illegal land clearing in Indonesia, Singapore's neighbor.  That's like, Ned Flanders level of uncool.  In Singapore is also the first time I learned about PSI (quick note: it's the measure of air quality).  Needless to say, it isn't looking great over here right now. 

That's not bad camera quality, it's...the Haze!

Notice the faint glow under the lights, it's almost eerily pretty if it wasn't a health hazard

So anyways, it's been almost a month since I dug a tunnel with my spoon and escaped the suffocating, soul-crushing prison cell that is San Francisco (joking...).  It paradoxically feels both like a long time and like no time has passed at all.  Unfortunately, I have not made any amazing self-discoveries about myself that I can write about.  And even if I had, I don't think I have enough hubris to just lay it all out here on this blog.  Catch up with me and I will word vomit all my introspection for you.  At the end of the day, I'm still an introvert after all. :)

But what I will say is that overall I'm enjoying this time to myself more than I thought I would.  Sure, there are moments of being homesick or missing friends & family back home.  But on the other hand, it does feel quite liberating to be carving out my own life here with no expectations or social obligations.  Everyday and every week, I have to build up my own new routine and that's kinda cool.  There are moments when I'm riding the subway, dancing with my headphones on, and I think to myself, "I'm in Asia! By myself!"

Okay, this is way too much positivity from me in one sitting.  Tune in next week when my feelings have a complete 180 turn and I bitch & moan about how much I hate it here!

Song of the week: Keeping with the hazy/foggy/unclear motif, here's some new CHVRCHES for you!  Love me some new CHVRCHES (chicken)! Hehe, I'm funny. (PS Get ready to dance.)

Remote Beach in Lombok

Last Friday was a national holiday in Singapore.  It was the general elections and the Singaporean government made a holiday out of it.  For us expats who don't need to vote, it was a free long weekend.  Yippee!  So with little hesitation, I packed my bags and headed off to my first traveling adventure in Asia!! Destination: Lombok & the Gili Islands!  

So a little bit about Lombok, it's kinda like the Gretchen Weiner of Indonesia islands next her Regina George - Bali. Okay, that was a terrible analogy. I apologize. Just stop reading now.

Nasi Goreng (Indonesian Fried Rice) - Best thing we ate!

Oh still here? Okay, fine, I'll finish the blog post. Anyways, Lombok is known to be the less touristy version of Bali. And nestled right near Lombok is the Gili Islands. These 3 islands (Gili Trawangan, Gili Meno, and Gili Air) are famous for providing a remote island experience: they're tiny, they're only accessible by boat, and they don't allow motorized vehicles.

That scary man allowed the girls to ride on the boat...wings?  iono, I'm not a sailor

Well, I can't really give too many insights on this trip as this was pretty much a beach-y, relaxing type trip. We mainly snorkeled and ate and relaxed at our awesome resort.

The beachside infinity pool!!!

View from our hotel room deck

We also had some great discussions about what it means to live a purposeful life, to explore a different path, to grow by pushing your boundaries. Basically, we figured out the meaning to life, but you just had to be there to understand. Instead, here's a video I threw together. I know, I still need to work on my videography skills!

Singapore skyline from rooftop bar

Helloooooo!!  Okay, so I was all like, "I'm going to start blogging once I move abroad!" Unfortunately, I might have said this out loud, so now I'm held accountable.  Ugh, dumb.

Well, if you came here expecting beautiful, poetic prose and creative, thoughtful insights about living abroad, you definitely came to the wrong place.  What you'll get is lots of bitching, pent-up emo angst, and a hint of erotic thriller.  Oh, and terrible grammar (you've been warned).

I was trying to think what I could write for my inaugural post, and decided to give my top 5 observations of Singapore so far (after a week).  Here goes:

1. Hot & Moist - Oh the weather.  I'll try not to harp on this too much but it's hot, it's humid, it's never-ending.  People say you'll never get use to it either.  I guess that's why Singapore loves malls.
2. Clean, Efficient, Boring? - The stereotypes you've heard of Singapore are pretty true.  It's so clean (where are the homeless people?), it's super efficient (went to get some government paperworks done expecting American DMV-status but was out of there in 10 minutes), and some would say boring.  Since I came to Singapore with no expectations, I can't say that I've been disappointed yet.  Besides, even if Singapore is too sterile, it's solved by the next item.
3. Travel Hub Wooo!!! - One of the big draws of living in Singapore is that it's a hop, skip, and a jump to another country! People here travel like it's nothing.  Weekend getaways are expected.  Speaking of which, I've already have my first weekend trip lined up next week.  Stay tuned! :)
4. International yet Transient - Someone told me that Singapore is 40% expats (I'm not gonna fact-check this because..um I'm lazy, so let's just take this as fact.)  This makes Singapore a very international city.  The people you meet here can also be super posh and international themselves.  I met a guy that grew up in Thailand, educated in Australia, works in Indonesia, travels often to Singapore, and is ethnically Japanese.... mind blown.  Yet, it's also a very transient city.  People aren't expected to stay here for too long and that seems to be the norm. 
5. Yummy in my Tummy - If you love Asian food, if you love street food, if you love cheap food, Singapore is the place for you.  I mean look at these pics!

Roasted duck over noodles

Salted egg spare ribs

Hainanese chicken rice

Feasting with the co-workers

That's it for now!  I actually have several other observations but I'll save them for another time.  Until then, um...here's my song of the week!

So sexy!   Don't know why she/this song didn't get more popular.