I'm backkkkk!!!  You've missed me haven't you?  Sorry for not blogging in a while - truth is, once people started telling me they actually read this dumb blog, I became too self-conscious to write.  I'm shy!

Although I've always have had a love/hate relationship with journaling/blogging (like whiskey dick, it's hard to keep it up :/), I've been trying to get back to doing more active self-reflection again.

Recently, I decided to go back and read my old entries. Oh boy are some of them unintentionally hilarious, while others are interesting windows into my beautiful, genius mind.  Here...I'll share some snippets, one from each age starting from when I was 18.  For extra gravity/hilarity, imagine my voice while reading.

Nov. 20th, 2008 - 18 years old
"When will my life get extraordinary? I'm sure this is a question many people ask themselves, including me. But the real thought is that, what does it mean to have an extraordinary life? I guess the first idea that pops into my head is 'a great adventure and an even greater love.'"
ed. note: LOLZ...watch as this romantic idealism slowly shrivels and dies

Dec. 1st, 2008  - 19 years old
"I'm 19!!!! yay? hahaha...My imaginary blow out candles wish? To meet someone by next year, hahaha. I don't necessary want some kind of relationship, just that feeling, for once."
ed. note: HAHAHA...who am I laughing at? also...that "feeling" LOLZ x 2

June 9, 2010 - 20 years old 
"I used to have (and maybe still do) strict beliefs on cheating.  If someone were to cheat on me, that would be a complete deal breaker: no second chances, no forgiveness, no lingering relationships.  But as I have learned, cheating is not a deal breaker for everyone.  And although I have spoken like I’m on some superior higher moral ground, who knows, maybe it will be me that slips up and cheat…humans make mistakes and I can’t say that I’m not human."
ed. note: Woahh...20 year old me got deep

March 30, 2011 - 21 years old
"What I really mean:
haha/lol - conversation filler
hahahaha/LOL/lololol - that was actually funny
:P - I’m playful
:3 - My face literally looks like a cat/I want to fuck you."
ed. note:  :3 :3 :3

February 14, 2012 - 22 years old
"Roommate Shmeric: What do think about 'Someone Like You?'
Alex: I like the song, but it is pretty dumb.  Why would you want someone like the person who dumped you and moved on and has a better life? I would want someone that is opposite if anything to spite the person before.  The song is so needy, ugh, just as bad as when Jennifer Hudson sang 'And I’m Telling You' from Dreamgirls.
Roommate Shmeric:…you would think that."
ed. note: This is still true, who disagrees with me?!

July 11, 2013 - 23 years old 
"And while you’re young, you get to spend a few fruitless years hanging on to sad romanticism and hold out for a Mr. Darcy I guess.  At least for a few more years right?  Because we all know that your (social & love) life is dead when you hit 26 and you should be literally be holding on for dear life anyone foolishly enough to be around your vicinity to prevent ending up miserably single forever."
ed. note: I'm turning 27 in December

July 12, 2014 - 24 years old
"Let’s say you were dating two people.  One person is passionate, emotional, wears heart on sleeve, lives life through feelings.  The other: stoic, emotionally reserved, doesn’t articulate feelings, lives life through logic.  Now one day, both people turned to you.  The first person exclaims, “I love you! I love you!”  While the second person quietly whispers, “I…love you…”  Now the questions are…1) Are both declarations “worth” the same? 2) Is one more meaningful than the other? 3) Can you trust one declaration more over the other?"
ed. note: The answer is...why are you dating 2 people at the same time you ho?!

September 12, 2015 - 25 years old
[Reflecting on my recent move abroad] "This journey is of my own...I will have to take an active approach to my personal development, don’t think it will just come."
ed. note: Wow 25...much deep...such wise...many amaze

There you go, a sneak peak into the mind of a tortured, complicated soul who deep down inside is just looking for a great adventure and an even greater...love (barf...but also :3).

Hello, this is Alex Hai Tran, your local Asia correspondent coming to you live from Singapore with the latest and greatest Asian Trends.  This week, we explore the emerging industry that is Vietnamese Pop (VPop).

A few weeks ago, while in HCMC/Saigon, I had the chance to go karaoke-ing with a few localized Viet-American expats and their friends.  They started putting on Viet songs, but to my surprise these weren't the old, slow songs I knew from my parents.  Instead,  the songs played featured young, attractive people singing modern songs in fancy music videos.  And that was how I was introduced to the new world of VPop.

Now VPop for sure is a total ripoff of KPop, but they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery.   No matter, I was already hooked.  You know how it's really amazing for Asian-Americans to see Asian representation in western media?  Now take that down one level - in some circles, Vietnamese and Southeast Asians are seen as not as attractive or even just inferior to your typical East Asians.  Yes, Asians are not immune to racism within our own community.  So I was in complete awe to see these confident, attractive Vietnamese stars rocking it as hard as any KPop idol.  Makes me so damn proud!!

So without further ado, here's my review of some of the top VPop idols based on their songs/music videos.  I'll give them ratings based on Attractiveness (because we all know beauty is the most important trait when judging people), Earworm-ness (how catchy is the song AND how they can make the Vietnamese language not sound like someone's gargling their last dying breath), and MV production value.

Sơn Tùng M-TP (don't ask me what M-TP stands for) is basically the Jay Chou of the VPop world currently.  One of his Youtube music videos has 70 millions views (Vietnam only has a population of 90 mil...).  As for this video, it has that long, melodramatic story element that's popular in a lot of Asian MVs.  He's definitely idol pretty and leading man material.  The song is a so-so ballad.

Attractiveness: 7/10
Earworm-ness: 4/10
MV production: 7/10

If Sơn Tùng is the Jay Chou of VPop, then Tóc Tiên is the Beyonce/Rihanna/Miley/Madonna of VPop.  Actually, I just made that up.  Whatever, she's hot and her name literally translate into "Angel Hair."  How badass (and stripper-y) is that?!  Also, this video has everything: ninjas, geishas, house of flying daggers shit,  OMG IS THAT THE DEAF WINNER FROM AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL?!?  Come for the typical dance-pop, stay for the sick trap beats.

Attractiveness: 9/10
Earworm-ness: 7/10
MV production: 9/10

This MV features a pop-ballad duet between singer Ngô Kiến Huy and pop diva Sĩ Thanh.  He has nice boyish charms, but gosh she needs to wash that heavy makeup off her face.  Diva fosho.  The real star of video though is the amazing direction and cinematography.  It captures the beautiful cities of modern Vietnam gorgeously.  Makes me want to go back! The song is also catchy and the first to make me feel that Vietnamese can sound sweet and pleasant!  It's also basically a long cellphone commercial, so there's that.

Attractiveness: 5/10
Earworm-ness: 7/10
MV production: 10/10

365daband (or just 365) is the hottest VPop boyband apparently.  First there's Jun & Will aka the Lance/Chris/Joey of the group.  We don't care about them.  Then there's ST or basically JC.  And like JC, he had potential but then they went and gave him a really bad dye job that fucked up and damaged his hair. Wow, give the guy some deep conditioner for god sake.  So basically the Justin of the group is Isaac a.k.a. Mr. Turtleneck.  He's the true star here.  I mean look at his solo song here:

#SWAAGGGGG.  No ratings needed, Isaac wins.

For more info on VPop, check out this blog www.vpopfan.com.

Okay, that's it for this installment of Asia Trends.  Tune in next time when I'll go deep undercover to first-hand find the newest, hottest STDs of Asia.

Dear Alex,

This is Future Alex.  That's right, I'm you but from the future one year from now.  I have time traveled back to warn you of the terrible, dystopian world that I came from.  But you are the key to prevent this bleak future from happening.  How?  It's too complex for your mind to understands so don't ask me any details.

There are a few key things you must accomplish in 2016 before your next birthday.  If you are able to keep to task and complete them, the world in your future will not fall to ruins like mine.  What?  This sounds cliche?

Okay, that's it.  No more nice guy.  Just shut the fuck up and complete these fucking birthday resolutions.  Fuck, I forgot how annoying I was at 26.

1. In my grim future, all books are banned and are burned if found.  What?  This is a totally original idea.  Anyways, if you read some damn more books, you can prevent this from happening.   Remember when you use to read regularly and didn't melt your brains on those stupid Japanese cartoons all the time?  For Christ sake, just read 6 books next year.  That's 1 book every 2 months you lazy ass.
2. In my horrifying future, children are taken away from their parents to participate in an annual televised death match.   No, this does not sound familiar. Anyways, you can prevent this future from unfolding if you just fucking call home every week.  No, it doesn't count if mom calls you. And I don't care if she nags for 30 minutes, just shut up and listen. Okay, fine, you can roll your eyes while she talks but roll your eyes silently.  While you're at it, call dad and have the usual 10 second conversations with him too.
3. In my nightmarish future, only one person is chosen to hold all memories and everyone else is the same and have no emotions.  No, I did not steal this from somewhere.  Anyways, what you need to do is write down and record more of your thoughts and feelings.  No, writing a stupid post on your stupid blog every once in a while does not count.  You will journal every week Sunday 9PM.  That's the time I have given you to sit down and record & process your overly active mind.  Stick to it.

Do these sound familiar?  That's because most of them are your failed birthday resolutions from last year, idiot.  This time, I'm holding you more accountable by having it in writing. Don't make me time travel back here again. 

Are you currently doing anything right?  Hmm, I guess you have been doing some traveling.  Don't be so smug, that's the only thing you are currently doing correctly with your life.   

Finally, do you have any questions about the future before I leave?  Yes, you do get wiser, funnier, and more attractive with age.  That's true in any future.

Now get to it!

Future 27 Year Old Alex

So when you are new and out meeting lots of people, you'll run into situations where people might not just want to be your friend.  They might start to like you.

I'm running into this all the time.  Sometimes when you are too attractive, it's really hard just to make friends.

That's why I've picked up a few techniques to help navigate these awkward situations.  I'm happy to share them with you!

Alex's Guide to Friend Zoning

• When texting, never text back immediately.  This shows them you have better things to do.
• If you somehow end up hanging 1-1, start inviting other people ASAP.
• Talk about all the real-life people you think are hot in front of them.
• In conversation, describe your perfect type and then say, "Yeah, kinda like the opposite of you."
• If they try to make a move on you at the bar/club, just scream, "I'm so drunk right now. Just sooooo drunk."  Then spill your drink on them and leave.
• When they text you something flirty, reply with "I just took a big dump, heh." Then some poop emoticons for emphasis.
• Slap their face really hard.  Whenever.
• When they ask you, "How's your weekend?" Respond with "I'm still emotionally unavailable due to my last relationship 8 years ago."

 Good luck!

Quick video I put together.  Just a lot food and wandering around.

So this post is about my quick weekend trip to Bangkok a few weeks back.  If you were thinking of a quickie...OMG YOU'RE FREAKING GROSS.  Get your head out of the gutter!

Anywayzzz.  Frenetic, bustling, beautiful, artistic, metropolitan, sinful.  Those are a few words that come to mind when I think about my impressions of the city.  (I'm a terrible writer, so excuse my limited vocabulary and poor descriptions of what is a pretty cool city.)   Now given that it was a quick weekend trip, I really didn't get to see a lot of the city, especially more of the cultural side (all the temples and palaces were kind of out of the way).  It was more of a fun drinking, eating, and partying type of trip.  And even so, someone was soooo lame that he went to bed after dinner on a Saturday night.  (Hint: it was me.)

Here are some pictures/videos/highlights/impressions:

• Yes, what you've heard about the sex industry in Thailand is pretty true.  Sex workers will line the streets just for you to pick them up.  Walking down the street seeing all the girls in matching costumes sitting just rows was kinda depressing actually.  Same goes for the guys.  (PS They also weren't cute.)
• In Thailand, Thai tea is just called milk tea.  Mind. blown.

This little stand was a whole family affair.

• The Thailand malls could give the Singaporean malls a run for their money.  Almost.
• Thai street food is bomb dot com.  But I totally didn't know what I was doing so I just went to the stalls that had the most people.

Some Thai noodle soup.  Tom...Yum! Get it?! (It actually wasn't tom yum soup.)

Yes.  That is Thai street fried chicken.

• Coconut water in Thailand is the sweetest in all the lands.
• The giant flea market is a total maze but I didn't really buy anything.  Just more eating.

The very touristy flea market.

Until next time Bangkok! 

Song of the Week: I know everyone is literally crying to Adele's new song (which has ALL THE FEELS).  But I'm gonna highlight my high school alumna who might have not gotten as much press but had an equally heartbreaking song.

"Do you wanna uh...grab a coffee or something?"

Actively trying to make new friends is not something people usually have to do until they are thrown into a new environment or into new life circumstances.  I can't remember trying to actively make friends since my early-mid college years.  Now here I am, in a new environment trying to to find my Joey, Rachel, and Gunther.

I wouldn't say it has been particularly too hard to meet new people here.  Maybe it's because Singapore is made up of so many expats that people understand what it's like to be alone in a new city.  Or maybe it's because I’m so cool, fun, and funny that everyone just naturally wants to hang out with me.  Yeah, you're right, it's just me.

Getting durian sago dessert with the Lil Sib!

What I find particularly hilarious is how sometimes trying to make friends is almost like dating.  You inevitably end up going out to grab drinks with these people...or dinners...or coffee "hangouts." Like dating, you ask the same questions just to different faces:

"What do you do?"
"Where are you from?"
"What’s your favorite sexual position? I’m guessing reverse-cowgirl."

And of course, you have the whole internal process of assessing if there is a personality match - is this person really friend material?  Do they laugh at your terrible and often unnecessarily dirty jokes (“Dildos?  More like Dildo-n’ts!” [I literally just thought that up as I was typing...I’m too funny!])  Are they themselves funny?  It’s a constant flow of making snap judgements - my favorite hobby.

And like dating again, you are also secretly insecure and constantly try your best to show off how cool you are. How funny you are.  How smart you are.  How much of a DAB* you are (“No, I’m not drunk. Yes, I will take that 8th shot with you! Woooo, I’m such a Bro!!!”)

Or maybe, I’m just overthinking the whole thing.  If a person is cool, just hang out with them.  There, I just solved making friends/dating.  You’re welcome.

*Down Ass Bitch.

Song of the Week: This song is just great.  The video is awesome (just keep watching).  And the lyrics have all the Feels!

Bonus Song (because it fits this week's blog post theme)

Squint and you can see the outline of Marina Bay Sands

Welcome to the Mist!...I mean the Haze!

So there is a unique phenomenon here in Singapore called the Haze (capitalized for dramatic effect).  As you can see from the pictures, Singapore is basically enveloped by a pretty shitty haze around this time of the year for a few weeks.  The Haze is cause by fires from illegal land clearing in Indonesia, Singapore's neighbor.  That's like, Ned Flanders level of uncool.  In Singapore is also the first time I learned about PSI (quick note: it's the measure of air quality).  Needless to say, it isn't looking great over here right now. 

That's not bad camera quality, it's...the Haze!

Notice the faint glow under the lights, it's almost eerily pretty if it wasn't a health hazard

So anyways, it's been almost a month since I dug a tunnel with my spoon and escaped the suffocating, soul-crushing prison cell that is San Francisco (joking...).  It paradoxically feels both like a long time and like no time has passed at all.  Unfortunately, I have not made any amazing self-discoveries about myself that I can write about.  And even if I had, I don't think I have enough hubris to just lay it all out here on this blog.  Catch up with me and I will word vomit all my introspection for you.  At the end of the day, I'm still an introvert after all. :)

But what I will say is that overall I'm enjoying this time to myself more than I thought I would.  Sure, there are moments of being homesick or missing friends & family back home.  But on the other hand, it does feel quite liberating to be carving out my own life here with no expectations or social obligations.  Everyday and every week, I have to build up my own new routine and that's kinda cool.  There are moments when I'm riding the subway, dancing with my headphones on, and I think to myself, "I'm in Asia! By myself!"

Okay, this is way too much positivity from me in one sitting.  Tune in next week when my feelings have a complete 180 turn and I bitch & moan about how much I hate it here!

Song of the week: Keeping with the hazy/foggy/unclear motif, here's some new CHVRCHES for you!  Love me some new CHVRCHES (chicken)! Hehe, I'm funny. (PS Get ready to dance.)